Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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