I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i think my cat just said my name.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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