i just identified you from a description of your pipe
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
