the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
