I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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