Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
