im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
