can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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