yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Watching her eat just hurts me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
