arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize