I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And then he peed in my hair
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