He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize