Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
