That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
