My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
