And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
