When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm sobbing to NWA
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
