Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
this hospital has no fireball
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize