erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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