College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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