I didn't shave. On purpose
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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