Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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