he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize