I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
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