i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
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She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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