My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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