so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
