We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize