You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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