I think my fart just growled at me.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
