i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
