you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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