yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
