You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
