She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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