Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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