do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
