need another drink. this is the easiest way
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
