you guys were way drunker than both of me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize