he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
