Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
