I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
