I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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