Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
