Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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