you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
