ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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