my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
