Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
