Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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