Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
