Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize