i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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