I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize