So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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