After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
